Operator: 911 Emergency, can I have your name and location? Evan: Evan, I’m traveling Eastbound on I-80 in Pennsylvania. O: Whats the emergency? E: I passed an older looking man sitting on the grass on the side of ...Read More]]> I called 911 today from the road. The following is a very approximate transcript of the call:

Operator: 911 Emergency, can I have your name and location?
Evan: Evan, I’m traveling Eastbound on I-80 in Pennsylvania.
O: Whats the emergency?
E: I passed an older looking man sitting on the grass on the side of the highway. I didn’t see a car nearby. I thought it was weird. Didn’t know if he was lost or something.
O: He does that fairly often. We’ll send someone to check it out though. Thanks.
E: uh…okay. Bye.

*hang up*

….wtf?!?

Evan

So the other day I was over at Scott’s house, and he had the surprise thingy from inside Cracker Jacks. Any of these pictures can be clicked on ...Read More]]> This post is gonna be best viewed on a computer and not on a phone if that is how you are reading this. Just a heads up.

So the other day I was over at Scott’s house, and he had the surprise thingy from inside Cracker Jacks. Any of these pictures can be clicked on to increase their size.

Inside, there was a fact, which Scott was telling/quizzing me about.

Without telling the whole course of events at Scott’s house, I pretty much decided that it makes absolutely zero fucking sense. Let me demonstrate.

Notice the awesome part where I realized I used Pi*r^2 as the formula for the circumference and used the diameter as the radius. Since I was too lazy to redo the whole page I just crossed those parts out and fixed them. I know the ruler is hard to see but I wanted to provide somewhat of a scale. The letters are about 3/4 of an inch tall, which is a hell of a lot taller than any lined paper you’re gonna find in a student’s notebook. Anyway, as you can clearly see, something here is extremely fucked up.

Their numbers put the average word at being 4 feet in length of writing, and writing big in my terrible handwriting I got nearly half a foot. At the size I wrote you’d need to write a word nearly 8 times the length of mine (Hello), or 30 letters long. Antidisestablishmentarianism is only 28 letters long. So, umm….wtf.

Googling this fact, I basically couldn’t find anything remotely scientific backing up the “fact” except for people with ideas on how to test it, but it did not seem like anyone had ever really done it in a scientifically acceptable manner, if at all. Moral of the story: I don’t trust the facts inside Cracker Jack surprises. I recommending that the manufacturer begin a complete audit of all Fun Facts inserted into their products, and in the future, provide a respected source for where the fact originated. Alternatively, I could shut the fuck up.